Laughing All The Way To The Colosseum: Jokes About Ancient Rome

Greetings, gladiators and emperors-in-training! Are you ready to take a trip back in time with some awesome jokes about Ancient Rome? Well, buckle up your sandals and grab a toga because we’ve got a collection of jokes that are sure to make you laugh like Caesar himself! 

Whether you’re a history buff or just looking for a good chuckle, these jokes will transport you to a world of togas, chariots, and one-liners that even Caesar himself would approve of. 

So sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained like a true Roman, with these great Ancient Rome era jokes!

No place like Rome coin cartoon

Which famous Roman suffered from seasonal allergies?

Sneezer Augustus.

Why did the Roman soldiers wear sandals instead of boots?

Because they wanted to avoid the smell of defeat.

What did the Roman poet say when he couldn’t find the right word? 

“Et tu, Thesaurus?”

How was the Roman Empire divided?

With a pair of Caesars.

Why did the gladiator refuse to fight the lion?

He was allergic to cats.

What did the Roman emperor say to his chef? 

“I want you to make me a salad that’s fit for an emperor!” 

Why did the Roman gladiator hate his job? 

He felt like he was always fighting a losing battle!

What was the most popular drink in ancient Rome?

Roman coke (wine mixed with water and honey).

What did the Roman gladiator say after a good meal? 

“I’m glad I ate her!”

 

What did the Roman soldier say when he lost his sandals?

“I guess you could say I’m now a foot soldier!”

gladiator cartoon

Why did the Roman cross the road?

To conquer the other side!

 

What do you call a Roman soldier with a cold?

Julius Sneezer!

Why did the Roman senator go to the bathhouse?

He heard it was a good place to clean up his act!

What did the Roman farmer say when he lost his cows? 

“I don’t know, but they’re roaming around somewhere!”

 

Why did the Romans build so many aqueducts?

They wanted to make sure they had a water-tight system!

What did the gladiator say when he won the fight?

“I guess you could say I’m a stab-ility in the ring!”

Why did the Roman Empire collapse? 

Because it took them forever to finish their buildings—they were always in ruins!

 

What did the grape say when it got stepped on by a Roman soldier?

Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Why did the Romans use lead in their plumbing?

They wanted to give their water a little extra weight!

What is the most common vegetable in ancient Rome?

Caesar salad!

(More Food Jokes)

 

roman soldier cartoon

What was the Romans’ greatest achievement?

Learning to speak Latin!

Why was Julius Caesar bad at telling jokes? 

Because he was always getting stabbed in the punchline!

 

Why didn’t the Romans have algebra?

Because X always equaled 10!

What’s the best way to study Ancient Rome?

By watching Rome-coms.

How do Roman women give birth?

Caesarean section.

 

Did you hear about the Roman who kept breaking his chariot? 

Yeah. He couldn’t keep it in one piece, but he was still a wheely good driver.

Did you hear about the Roman engineer who invented the arch

He was hailed as a monument-al genius by his peers.

Do you have any more funny Jokes about Ancient Rome?

Sharing is caring. Help us build the BEST resource for Ancient Rome jokes, Ancient Rome riddles, and Ancient Rome puns on the internet… add any new ones you know in the comments below! Thanks a million!

 

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