Birthdays are the one day a year where it’s socially acceptable to eat an entire cake by yourself and no one can judge you. So, in honor of this glorious occasion, we’ve rounded up the funniest and most ridiculous jokes about birthdays that will have you laughing until your candles go out.
Get ready for a wild ride filled with puns, one-liners, and silly stories that will make you feel like you just blew out a whole bunch of candles in one go. These funny birthday jokes will have you feeling younger and older at the same time – let the good times roll!
What kind of music is bad for balloons?
Pop.
What kind of cake do monsters like?
I Scream Cake.
Why don’t owls give each other presents on their birthdays?
Because they don’t give a hoot!
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
Sorry I called you old… I thought you knew.
Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties?
He’s a fun guy.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When you slice it.
Did you hear what happened at the tree’s birthday party?
Everyone got totally sappy.
What did the bald man say when he got a comb for a birthday present?
“Thanks — I’ll never part with it.”
What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday?
Hoppy Birthday!
What does every birthday end with?
The letter Y.
What do clams like to do on their birthdays?
Shell-ebrate.
How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker was getting for his birthday?
He felt his presents.
What did the cake say to the fork?
You wanna’ piece of me??
Did you know that birthdays are good for your health? It’s a scientific fact: People who have more birthdays live longer.
What’s the best way to remember your child’s birthday?
Forget it once.
Why did the baker laugh in the bakery?
Because the eggs kept cracking jokes.
Why does everyone in my family keep reminding me how old I am?
Because age is a relative thing.
I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
I dread my birthday, but my friends tell me to cheer up because it’s better than falling into a hole filled with water. I know they mean well.
I threw a ball for my dog… It’s a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
What’s the one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?
A year older.
Why do candles always go on the top of cakes?
Because it’s hard to light them from the bottom.
What can you do if you get heartburn from birthday cake?
Take off the candles before you eat it next time.
Birthdays are like toilet paper rolls – the closer you get to the end, the faster they seem to go!
What one thing will you get every year on your birthday, guaranteed?
A year older.
Why did the girl put her cake in the freezer?
She wanted to ice it.
Does a blue candle burn longer than a pink one?
No, they both burn shorter.
Did you hear about the candle’s birthday party? It was lit!
Do you have any more funny Jokes about Birthdays?
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